Some thoughts

One thing I really dislike about the holiday is the air around me seems fresher, the road is less congested, there are less people around, it seems more quiet and relaxing. All this simple means it makes my mind think much more compared to when I'm stressed out or busy doing something. And I hate it cause I'm too young to be thinking too much.

Oh well, Happy Chinese New Year to those who are celebrating!

Was having a conversation with Adeline 2 nights back and she asked me a question which is always been on my mind, well, almost every night of my life. And coincidently, when I was watching One Tree Hill after my chat with her, Lucas ask/say the almost exact same thing as what she asked me.

"If you could go back and change just one thing of your life. Would you? But if you did, would that change make your life better? Or will that change ultimately change your heart? Or break the heart of another?"

For me, if I were to have that chance to change that certain situation, I would certainly do it. The problem is, I have too many things I would want to change from my past. This few days, thinking back of my whole life, I'm shocked by the amount of "bad" steps and choices I took. Basically, I screwed up my teenage life. I could have been alot happier now. I could've have a more "perfect" life. I could have avoided all those sleepless nights. I could've avoided hurting all those people whom I love and care about.

The thing is, these bad choices I made in my past is what made me who I am today. The sooner I realise I can't change any of my past, the sooner I will be able to move on. There are things I pray every night I would be able to let go off, and there are also things that I'm too afraid to ask God to take away, and that's what I'm afraid off.


Anyway here is a new song that I absolutely CAN'T stop listening to it every day and night. It is "Burn and fade away" by "Vega4". From what I think, it is a very, very beautiful song..

I believe we could have had it all
we could have shone like stars
we lost our way
everything has got to end sometime
we were satellites
drifting off into space
i'm alone in the rain
with a movie in my head
about a dream you were in
where we lost ourselves
burn and fade away again
burn and fade away again
burn and fade away again
for all time
we wished too hard on that
shooting star
that burned a hole in us
but left a trail in our eyes
i don't need anything
but to know you'll be alright
chase a dream, don't look back
where we lost ourselves
burn and fade away again
burn and fade away again
burn and fade away again
for all time x2

I'm afraid that I would stop loving you one day..my little miracle. Because I'm not ready to do so...