Nothing seems right since 2007 started..

A new year, a new beginning?! For me, is more like a bad beginning, infact a VERY bad beginning.

This whole week has been a very dark and hard time for me. Infact, I think it is one of the worst period of time ever -- as far as I can remember. Everyday, I only get more and more bad news, or more and more bad things happening to me. And when I always thought it will only get better the next day when I wake up, well, I'm totally wrong, it only kept getting worst, and worst.

If you actually bother to read the post below about my jinxed trip to Cameron and not only view the pictures, you got a glimpse of what happened over my weekend. I forgot to also add a few more things. That weekend I also found out that someone whom I love and care about alot started smoking. Now she is the last person on earth I would expect to fall like this, and it really tore my heart apart to learn about this. Beside this, my wisdom tooth, which actually stopped growing for half a year already and never gave me any problem so far, decided to start growing again out of the blues. And amazingly, it grew so darn fast in just 3 days, pushed out from my gum almost 2mm! And yes, it is giving me lots of pain!

Below I mentioned that the mechanic couldn't fixed my car at the end, and I had to drive back all the way to KL without air cond. I had no choice but I still had to pay him, since he already order that part. To be fair he did install it, but only found out it is more major and I couldn't wait anymore. So yeah, I wasted almost RM1000 on that 3 day trip to Cameron. And the drive back to KL was one hell of a experience I can never forget. Worst thing is I can't really put down my window all the time, because the rain decided to come the moment I start the journey. So at times, I've to put the windows all the way up and suffer with hot air blowing through the air cond vent. Imagine this, you're in a car, your air cond is dead, you can't wind down the window cause is raining. Only hot air is blowing through your air cond vent and if you turn if off, you would probably die of suffocation. So it's stuffy, extremely hot, and the air is polluted with carbon monoxide...all this...plus the fact that you are so sleepy you can knock out the moment you touch the bed. That's how I suffered for almost 2 hours!! Only thing that kept my awake and alive -- I kept praying and praying and praying all the way. And I can honestly say I totally relied on God strength to take me back safely!

When I thought it's all over, and when I thought things can only get better, the following days only bring me nothing but more bad news and bad things. If the week is not bad enough, I got rejected by 3 Universities, all in a single day. Followed by screwing up a client's computer, and because of me, lost a few important documents for my him. Have to run a very tedious process of file recovery so I hopefully can save my ass.

Well, that was only this week.

As I think back, the first few weeks of 2007 wasn't great either. I found out my dad has a growth growing in his leg, and his practically limping all over the place until he has time to go for surgery. My dad business here in M'sia is also going down the drain, thanks to our wonderful PM who cancels so many projects. Now my dad has to keep on travelling overseas to set up a new overseas export devision.

As for me, I spent the first 2 and a half weeks of 2007 with a very bad flu. I couldn't taste, couldn't smell and my hearing was so bad I had to kept on using the word "pardon" when I'm talking to people. I also recieved my wonderful MUFY results, and as expected, I failed. Currently wasting so much time trying to appeal to get a university to accept me, did I mentioned I just got rejected by 3 Uni in a single day?? In financial terms, nothing is right for me either. I got myself into a RM1.5k debt in this first week of 2007 because of a business deal that went bad. I had not much new projects and have been turned down by a few very interested and potential customers, well, at least they were, last year. I also lost more money here and there, losing alot of money that I painstakingly earned last year. All this and is only January, infact is not even the end of January yet!

You think all this is bad enough? Well... My r'ship with her just ended as fast as it started. The only thing, the only one, the only person that kept me sane all this while. The only thing I kept thanking God for after any discouraging things happened, is gone. She was the only one that helped me cope with all the stress and pressure during times when I've to organise and handle the logistics, like Caroling. All I needed that time was just a glimpse of her face and I'll have renewed strength from beyond this world. And when I get to see her smile, is at that very moment, it seems like everything in the world is at it's right place. For a second, everything would be perfect! But now, is like my support column for everything has been taken away. It was only because of her I could still go through days like these..and now...I'm all alone again. Is amazing how can someone fall for another person so deeply and so much in such a short time. And another amazing thing is how fast a person could learn to love another person so deeply in such a short time. Even though it couldn't worked out, even though it was only for such a short period, but it was all worth it. Like what Seth said in "City of Angels" -- "I would rather had one breath of her hair, one kiss on her lips, one touch of her hand, then and eternity without it". I thank God He has blessed me with her, even for such a short time. And I thank God for the memories that is left with me.
The only good thing of 2007, is, I had the chance the spent the new year with her. =)

Satan can poke at and take everything that I love and care about away. I don't care, because I know God is in control, and I know He will help me through this time. Satan can torture Job, take totally everything away from him, give him sickness from head to toe, but Job still managed to bow down and give praise to the Lord. That is who I want to be. It says in Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.



I loved her..more then I ever thought I possibly could..and it was beautiful.